TWO WORDS TO AVOID, TWO WORDS TO REMEMBER.

“The trouble with ‘if only’ is that it doesn’t change anything. It keeps the person facing the wrong way- backward instead of forward. It wastes time. In the end, if you let it become a habit, it can become a real roadblock; an excuse for not trying anymore.

Now take your own case: your plans did not work out. Why? Because you made certain mistakes. Well that’s all right: everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are what we learn from. But then you were telling me about them, lamenting this, regretting that, you weren’t really learning from them.”

“How do you know then?”

“Because, you never got out of the past tense. Not once did you mention the future. And in a way- be honest, now!- you were enjoying it. There’s perverse streak in all of us that makes us like to hash over old mistakes. After all, when you relate the story of some disaster or disappointment that has happened to you, you’re still the chief character, still in the center of the stage.”

“Well, what’s the remedy?”

“Shift the focus, change the key words and substitute a phrase that supplies lift instead of creating drag.”

“Do you have such a phrase to recommend?”

“Certainly, Strike out the words ‘if only’; substitute the phrase ‘next time.’ ”

” ‘Next time?’ “

“That’s right. I’ve seen it work minor miracles right here in this room. As long as a patient keeps on saying ‘if only’ to me, he’s in trouble. But when he’s on his way to overcoming to his problem. It means he has decided to apply the lessons he has learned form his experience, however grim or painful it may have been. It means he’s going to push aside the roadblock of regret, move forward, take action, resume living. Try it yourself. You’ll see…”

Behind those freaking spectacles

                It was a very exhausting afternoon, when I sat quite still on a bleacher having seen a skinny boy of maybe sixteen. It looked like he was hardly carrying all of his books and I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring all of his books on a Friday? You can just leave them on the locker room. He must really be a nerd.” I had quite planned my weekend so I shrugged my shoulders and went on ignoring that nerdy guy.

                As the great dazzling sun gently sets of, I saw a bunch of men running harshly toward him while I was just there watching. They ran at him, knocking all of his books out of his arms and hitting him ruthlessly so he landed on the dirt. His glasses slipped off from his nose and I saw them ten feet away from him. He looked as if he needed for some aid and I saw his terrible sadness on his eyes. My heart gave a jolt so I headed over to him as he crawled pathetically around looking for his spectacles and I saw great sparkling tears dropping delicately from his eyes.

                “Those guys are such jerks. They must really get lost.” I exclaimed as I hand him his glasses.
                “Hey thanks!” he replied with a smirk.

                A wide smile suddenly washed the horrible face worn by him a while ago. I considered that smile as one of those that showed real gratitude. We talked all the way home whilst carrying part of his stuffs. Sev, the name he wanted me to call him, turned out to be a cool guy though he was a bit older than me so I asked him if he wanted to go out with me and meet my friends and he answered yes. We hung all the weekend and the more I got to know Sev, the more I liked him and my friends thought of the same.

                Over the next years, Sev went out to be the valedictorian of the seniors. I teased him all the time about being nerd. He had to prepare a speech for their graduation. I was so glad for him of what he had done in his life in high school. Sev promised to keep in touch by writing to me and my friends after he graduated.

And so it was their commencement day. I saw him and he looked great. He was one of those guys who had found himself during his high school life. He actually got more dates than I had and the girls admired him so much. Sometimes I get jealous and today was one of those days. I could see the nerve up in him as he was about to give the speech so I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey mate, you’ll be great!” he glanced at me and smiled, “Thanks!”

As he was about to start, he cleared his throat and began, “Graduation is a perfect time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years-parents, teachers, mentors or maybe a coach, but mostly, your friends. I am here to tell you all that being a friend to someone is the best gift that you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”

I just looked form a corner at my friend with a horrible disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. It revealed that he planned to kill himself on that Friday. He said of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He beamed hardly at me and gave a smile. “Thankfully, I was saved.” I heard the gasp go through the crowd at him and told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad also beaming that familiar smile off me not until I realized its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life—for better or for worse.

50 things all college students must know.

1. A lot of things will be changing and different, your friends and yourself. Let them. 

2. Chances are you will be bunking at the dorms. Remember to call your love ones back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.

3. There’s something amazing about songs, for they bring back memories of your favorite moments. One way or another you will be listening to music on the radio or at parties, so why not make albums of these songs. Years down the road, they serve as records of your best time in life.

4. Rest when you need to, for it recharges your mind and body for your next journey.

5. Wondering when you are most productive? Are you diurnal or nocturnal? If you are nocturnal and function best at night, embrace and enjoy that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.

6. Some like to stay ahead of time while others work best under pressure. If you are the latter, chances are you will procrastinate till the last minute. Experiment with them, and see which works best for you.

7. As much as it is important to be a responsible adult, at least a few times during college, do something fun and irresponsible. 

8. Make friends with your favorite professors. There is so much more to learn from each other than books. Who knows, you may meet Professor Dumbledore.

9. Spend some time alone every single day. Sleeping doesn’t count.

10. Go out and have fun, go on dates. Don’t feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.

11. Don’t date your roommate’s ex, it’ll be awkward.

12. When your friends’ family visits, join them if possible. You will get to know your friends better and you’ll get free food, etc.

13. Remember to send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.

14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always ask yourself, “what can I learn from this person?” There are things more important than just books and grades.

15. All-nighters are entirely overrated. Start early and rest plenty.

16. Those in college while maintaining a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: you two have to decide how things will work out. Understand that you two will be in different environments, but do not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don’t want to date anyone else, that’s totally fine! What’s not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you’re on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.

17. Working out differences is best done in person, not over Facebook, email, IM or anything else. Body language tells you more than just words.

18. Take risks. 

19. Don’t be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. You have the same stuff, period.

20. Come Wednesday night, your week is more than half over. Thursday and Friday will only get better.

21. Accept failures and pick yourself up. It’s how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you refuse to stay down.

22. Take classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it. And you’ll get to make more friends.

23. Think about the future, but enjoy the present. College is more than just a stepping stone.

24. When you’re living on a college campus with hundreds of things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and money.

25. Don’t be afraid of Cupid’s arrow and never take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don’t let it define your college experience.

26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure is now gone. Keep a list of these things, so that you can start working on them when you graduate.

27. Setbacks may seem like the end of the world, but take a deep breath, and reflect on what you have learned. 
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.

29. Stay open-minded, regardless of your political or religious beliefs. You can’t learn if you’re closed off.

30. If you need a job, find something that you enjoy. Just because it is work doesn’t mean it has to suck.

31. Take breaks from leading; it’s good to follow sometimes.

32. Use your camera and make records of life in college. They become priceless in time to come.

33. Stay healthy and safe. You can’t do anything otherwise.

34. Drop your ego and ask for help. It won’t kill you.

35. Just because you are in the bottom half of class now, doesn’t mean you suck. Things can only improve when at your worst. Don’t let your grades affect you, get used to it.

36. In ten years time, very few of you will look as good as you do right now. Revel in how hot you are before it’s too late.

37. In the long run, which college you attended doesn’t matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you’re given there. The college name on your resume doesn’t mean anything if that’s the only thing on your resume. In college, you will have access to a variety of opportunities, grab them.

38. On the flip side, don’t try to do everything at once. 

39. Stay objective. If your emotions are getting in the way, ask for help.

40. With the high national obesity figures, it is important to eat right. But treat yourself sometimes, emotional health is just as important as physical health.

41. It’s ok to be a complete ass at least once. Cake in the face sounds good.

42. Wash your sheets at least once a month. You do not want to be buffet for bed bugs.

43. If you are in a relationship, bring your significant other to meet your friends. They may pick up things you don’t.

44. Experiment with food. Those strange looking dishes you friend is making may be taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.

45. Explore the campus, and find your own hideout like the ‘Room of Requirement’.

46. If you are no longer excited about your field of study, switch even if it complicates things. Life is too short for regrets.

47. Tattoos are permanent and costly. Be very certain.

48. Don’t make fun of pre-frosh. You were there just a minute ago. 

49. Enjoy every second of your college years. These seconds will fly by. 

50. A time where learning is your key responsibility. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Friendship as a saving factor

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. “

-Buddha

There’s nothing more hurting than a wrecked friendship. No matter how you were so blissful in the past, a simple mistake can change everything. I am experiencing such guilt whenever the topic is about friendship.

I had a friend, which all of us do, to whom I felt and cherished true companionship. We both have the same attitude especially when it talks about girls. We are sharing problems with each other and treated each other as brothers. We have also experienced fighting and arguing with something but normally, it does not last for days. We have the same taste in choosing petty decisions. We liked the bond of each other until it went to a serious problem regarding the both of us.

I became jealous of how my classmates and teachers treat him. I have thought that he was always the apple of the eye of many people. Whenever I’m with him, he is just the one being noticed by people. I don’t know if they see me or what but one thing is for sure, I got envy with him. I hate those times that we are compared with each other and he always earns the good point. It went to a point that I am spoiling and judging him when he is not with me. Yes, I backstabbed him. I think that is the product of severe jealousy. He received such gossips that it was me who was pulling him down so he got angry with me. It may sound stupid but for me it’s just what I’m trying to prove. I thought to myself that it was not my fault. He did not consider my side whenever he is admired. Then finally, I concluded, it was not my loss; it’s his.

Even after moving-up from juniors to seniors, we still did not talk and even now. He sent me a message just for our friendship to be back but my ears and feelings were closed. Then I realized during these times that it was my mistake. I already understood how I felt when I lose him. It is like walking on a storm without any companion, climbing a mountain without enough gear and eating a meal without a fork. It seemed that conscience was eating my mind. I was the one who had the mistake. I lost my friend. I miss him until now. We don’t talk nor heed each other whenever we are in school. I sent him a message that I’m really sorry for what I have done-that I have been too childish and immature for those things. Unfortunately, I don’t still get a reply from him. I feel lonely every time and that he is happy with his new friend. I am still hoping that our friendship will be back…

Value your friends. Many times, they serve as your brother or sister to you, no matter how crazy or stupid they are cherish each moment that you are with them. Even a single mistake can change what you have been through those happy times.  You don’t know when will be that moment when they leave you but as long as they are at your side, love and treasure them.